Decoding Love

Self-care Glow Up: 3 Skincare Favorites

I have been very fortunate in life…skincare has not been much of an issue for me.

A source of insecurity and low self esteem for many, I thank God that I have my skincare distress has been manageable at worst.

Since my teenage years, I credit my mother with ensuring I had a regimen that worked for the hectic, activity-filled lifestyle of a young girl. As I grew into an adult, I would say my calendar is just as full if not even more occupied. And now more than ever, I appreciate multifunctional, effective products.

My quest to attain glass skin has been a journey having suffered mask-acne in 2020. But now, am sharing three of my favorite products that got me back on track.

1. The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 30ml

If you are looking for a fixer for all your skincare woes, The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid offers great benefits. Affordable, compared to most serums, it works to rehydrate skin on a multi-depth level. The moisture offered me a chance to smooth out and plump-up my complexion. Used in combination with Vitamin C, the results are actually magical. I recommend you use this product diligently for at least 2 weeks.

2. Pixie Glow Tonic 5% Glycolic Acid Exfoliating Toner

If you search for renewed glowing skin, look no further. Pixie’s Glow Tonic renewed my dull, unremarkable skin within two weeks of using it. For someone who has somewhat sensitive skin, I had to do a lot of research about glycolic acid before taking the plunge and purchasing this product. If your skin concerns are hyper pigmentation, dark spots and dullness on the skin, this just might be the product for you. The Glycolic Acid breaks down dead skin, revealing new, radiant skin.

It costs a pretty penny, but the result speaks for itself. After battling a bout of mask-acne; this toner offered reprieve, and more importantly delivered results faster than I expected.

The tingling sensation was unexpected, however one does get used to it. Another factor to consider when purchasing is what other products you pair it with, as well as how frequent you use it. I suggest you do your research sufficiently before use.

3. Simple Kind to Skin Skincare

The older I get, the more aware that my skin requires extra work. With pollution, climate change and hormones, I have noticed my skin seeks hydration. I have sought out reasonably priced products that quench my skin; leaving it moisture-filled and glowing. I would say the Simple range, has several products that deliver more than what the bottle says.

The Hydrating Moisturizer comes in two variants, light and rich to suit various skin types. Among the more satisfactory revelations was the Simple Water Boost Hydrating Gel Cream. A perfect, more affordable dupe for the famed Laneige Water Sleeping Mask; this product is soothing, plumping and hydrating all at once.  

Simple Skincare was once one of my mother’s favorite skincare brands in the early 2000s, am glad that now we can share a love for this brand.

***For these and all skincare products, I recommend a skin patch test before trying out the skin on your delicate face.

Decoding Love

Situationship Etiquette

His back were always one of the features that she loved most. She was convinced that he could see right through her, undress her, and even completely overlook her; all with his brown eyes. Sometimes their connection was magic, at other times it felt as though they had completely disassociated from each other, going through the motions.

As she gathered herself from the various waves of emotions that came with every win and upset of the relationship, she learnt a few basic elements to making it work.

Here are a few factors to consider when it comes to situation-ship etiquette 101 :

  1. What is fundamental?

A situation-ship is a uniquely undefined relationship where either or both individuals involved in the relationship are unwilling to take the next step to declare the status of the relationship. So whether you are not sure where the relationship is going, or the situation is complex, a situation-ship is a whole different ballgame compared to your average relationship.

The fundamentals, will always bring you back to square one. Back to the core of why you are in this awkward state, and maybe it could even fling open possibilities that none of you thought were possible. Always remember to be kind, to be courteous and to be respectful. Any relationship worth its salt, are founded on those pillars.

2.No Broken Telephone

A situation-ship comes with its own parameters. Some imagined, and others clearly demarcated for both individuals to take note of and hold in high esteem. However, to make any relationship work, communication is vital not only for the health of the relationship but also to provide peace of mind for the persons involved.

Communication requires that you to not only share what you think is of interest to your partner, but also speak up even when it involves uncomfortable topics, you would much rather sweep under the rag. Speak about what you hope to get out of the situation-ship, its term and your values. It is often said, “never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to become their option.” When the situation-ship no longer works for you, it is critical that you can communicate that without holding back.

3.Board The Ship

Based on your experience in the situation-ship one can tell if the bond created could turn into more. So, what happens if you realize that you enjoy spending more time with the other individual? What if you begin to develop an emotional connection? It might be time to address the elephant in the room. You might just board the ship, and make it official.

When the booty calls turn into date nights, it might be time to reconsider your positions as individuals and look closely of what lies beneath the surface. You might just surprise yourselves!

Decoding Love

The Perfect Break Up

I was transported to another world, as I filled through the pages of my favorite Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi book when sadly my attention was diverted to my phone as it rang. The table vibrated as the phone continued to signal me to pick up, but by the time I finally stretched out my hand to grab the phone, I had missed his call.

A message popped up, “I hope you’re having a great day, meet me tonight.”

Without thinking much of it, I returned to my book, eager to find out if my favorite character would ever sort out her love-life; in spite of her conflicting emotions. Little did I know that evening, I would unravel much like my favorite character.

The perfect break up is never in marking the end of the relationship, but rather it is the respect held for both individuals in the relationship, and making note of the rollercoaster of a ride the relationship has been; leading up to that very moment. The breakup.

Here are 3 things I believe are essential components to the perfect breakup.

  1. Acknowledge there is no such thing as perfect

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, the perfect break up or the perfect partner. Those ideals never exist; however you might find something that comes a close second. For the so-called perfect breakup, it is critical that one makes note of the relationship. Recount the highlights and gloss over the lows, this could be instrumental in presenting the case in favor of making a clean break from the relationship. When executed in a sober mind, both individuals involved in the relationship could make out what has brought them to this point; as individuals and as a couple.

2.Delivery is paramount

Always remember that people may never remember what you said, but they will always remember how you treated them. No matter how difficult the relationship has been, always purpose to be kind with your choice of words, forthright in your approach and sincere with your intentions.

If your objective is to break up with your partner, do ensure your word choices make it apparent and clear. Do not leave your significant other or soon-to-be ex in limbo; wondering what comes next. Unfortunately, couples often reconcile due to a lack of closure, the clarity and decisiveness are needed to make it official. However, being transparent does not give anyone license to be mean, so always strive to convey your message with the at most respect and kindness.

3.Love conquers all

One would think that once there is confirmation of a break-up that everything is a done deal. A proverbial door is shut, the case is closed and one can just as easily move on, onto the next. Sadly, ladies and gents this is hardly ever the case. If you shared true love, you will care for your partner or should we say ex, even after the relationship is kaput!

However, the love you have for yourself, and the respect you hold for the decision made earlier should conquer all your doubts. Therefore, it is key that one can access and understand when doubt or regrets are worth revisiting as it relates to a break up; or whether one is just lonely and undergoing the teething problems associated with finding yourself newly single. Whatever the case, self reflection and extending some grace towards yourself and the difficult situation can ease one’s transition from one relationship into another, even when the next relationship is with yourself.

The perfect break is an urban myth in these streets but whether you initiate it or not. Nonetheless, how you handle the situation makes a world of difference.